Sunday, March 3, 2013

I Wish I Had...

...the balls to be(come) a woman! For real!!

This is an honest introspection, which says what's-what...
Any&All thoughts&comments are encouraged&welcome!


  1. Dear Elle, you are beating yourself up about something, I believe is not necessary.
    You are absolutely right that the lovely woman in the picture is courageous for being herself. But even if someone, like you or me, chooses not to be who she should have been, it doesn't have to be fear alone that stops us from pursuing our deepest desire.

    Sure, fear can be the reason, and Fear is a very strong and paralyzing emotion, without the right support it can be very hard to even go on, just to maintain the status quo one has. Does that make someone a sissy? Not in my opinion. What does? No clue here.

    You have not fulfilled your deepest desire, to become a woman. But I know you didn't have the support you needed, to take that step, you and I, we are not alone in that.

    One thing I know for sure, you have courage. You helped me, a total stranger, at a time I needed it. You however, you had no obligation toward me, and you still helped. I believe that is an act of courage, an act of kindness.

    since the few weeks we've known each other I've came to see you as a confidante, but more important I consider you a friend. And what you shared with me in our private conversations? I already let you know that I am honoured you shared that with me, and you don't need to have regrets.
    For who might wonder, Elle did confirm to me that am the friend she mentioned in her caption.
    So to your question 'Who's a sissy now?' I can honestly say: 'I have no clue, not us anyway'.

    1. It is said that certain parts of our lives here on earth can be defined in five, distinct stages, fear being one of them.
      While I accept that my present situation is the result of my past (in)actions, and I have been angry about my failures & shortcomings, I am left little with which to bargain as my attempts to deny the inevitable have brought more ill than an earlier capitulation might have, I find myself facing that which I have always said I fear most. In my present state it seems that occasional insights to weightier matters are granted me, in this case, acknowledging a great fear which, unaddressed earlier in life, set my course falsely on living as one I should never have tried being. Perhaps my real fear was never that of a slow demise, but that of truly living as the self I feel I should have been.

      I am glad to have been of any help, darling, and hope to continue some while with you and those who care to come along this unmapped path.

      I do not know what else to say to say, except; Thank you!